The Weekend Pages

If love visits me again, I hope I get treated right.  I hope love is brave enough to break the walls I built around me. I hope love will be patient enough. And I hope love chooses to stay. A friend once told me how love looked pretty on me.  But love turned me cold and left me.  Sucked the life out of me.  Made me anxious and vulnerable.  Love betrayed me.  I'm not sure if I'm brave enough to love again.  If also not sure if love will come in my life again.  But I'll hold on to this arabic quote,  "He came as a soul for my soul." I trust that love will find its way to me.  For now, I'll hide behind my walls and heal myself.  -E. 

It's been months but it still hurts seeing your favorite cafe. Whenever I pass by Coffee Project, it's you whom I remember.  I'll always recall how much you loved black coffee and how you were able to extend your use of the café's internet with your IT skills. I miss the time when you asked me out on a date after my shift 2 years ago.  I loved your spontaneity. I love the unplanned lunch date on a work weekday. I miss your messages. How our 500 pesos can take us to 2 places. How you introduced me to your world and how I learned to love it. I loved our silence. Your silence never made me anxious. In fact, it was calming. It let my guards and walls down. I loved how I could still do what I wanted and be myself while spending the day with you. The silence between us wasn't deafening. I don't feel anxious when I'm with you. You listened patiently when I talked excessively about a book or when I was crying because I had weird dreams again.  I miss how you used to...

They say, in order to live a fulfilled life, one must have empathy. Well, to be honest with you, I don’t know who said this exactly. I made it up.  Being empathetic is both a curse and a blessing. Blessing, because you understand where the other person is coming from. You feel their pain, and it hurts you as well. You're the light in their own dark and narrow tunnel. A curse, because people will take advantage of you. And, that my friend is exhausting. Having a soft heart is a bit bothersome. You’re a personal favorite of our fellow narcissist. Why? Because you’re easy to manipulate. It’s easy to put a leash on your neck. Their energy will exhaust you. They will suck all the light that is within you to fill their cup, leaving you with nothing.  Recalling my own experience, this year was one of the worst years energetically. A lot of us were betrayed and our souls were crushed. Most especially mine. I have no qualms with me being my friend's adviser and their comfort with thing...

I was 11 years old when I read one of Maeve’s books entitled, Whitethorn Woods. At first, I wasn’t thrilled and I didn’t feel anything when my Mommy bought it for me. I was too engrossed with murder mysteries at the time. (Talk about Agatha Christie!)   However, her writing proved me wrong. Her works touched my soul and changed my perspective about love and life forever. I fell in love even more when I bought ‘Nights of Rain and Stars” in 2016 and " Tara Road" in 2017. I was in college then taking up arts course.  For me, it was the most magical month. I cried a ton when Shane beat Fiona, after he heard the news that the latter was pregnant. I was 16 and emotional. I know nothing of the real world but I felt Fiona’s pain. It was heartbreaking because I resonated with Fiona’s situation.  Or when Danny Lynch was caught cheating and had to give up their beautiful home in Tara Road to be with his mistress. ( Infidels!)  I could never get my hands off o...