Thoughts of a working student

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Back in the days when working students were not glorified, it was a hard time for the broke 17-year old me. I had no confidence in interviews. I'm too awkward to apply for a job. The only job I was able to pull off was getting accepted as CBAA's Student Assistant. 

It was around the great era of 2016-2017 where times were tough for our family. I lost my scholarship and both of my Lola died. No inheritance was given because we have to pay for our debts and hospital bills. 

Prior to that year, we sold our house out of desperation. I couldn't blame my grandmother for doing so. She needs the money for us to continue our studies. 

I was pretty confident that I'll pass my exams and graduate but I fell in love and got too distracted. Distracted that I went from responsible to a complete jackass. I lost my scholarship because I was too complacent. I have to admit my suffering was partly my fault. I added fuel to the fire. I stayed and got burned by my own recklessness. 

But hey! Don't cast your judgment on me just yet! One of the reasons I needed to stop college was to help around the house since my Lola couldn't stand because of her rotten leg. (Yes, her leg got infected and she had Sepsis). Since your girl is the only one who can run errands, I was badly needed. It was a tough decision because I was ambitious. I really want to graduate despite me being irresponsible. What a joke, right?

At the time, I felt jealous because my friends were living their best lives while I had to bear the struggles of being the eldest child in the family. But I don't have the luxury to dwell with those thoughts, my whole life was in front of me. So, I moved on and accepted my fate. 

Without thinking, I surrendered. I gave it all up. I got tired of holding on to something that's not for me YET. After that, I went to Cebu and managed our family business (my Daddylo's business) but I developed a bad habit of overthinking and I got depressed. So I ran away from home, with 3 thousand pesos in my wallet and went back here in Mindanao. I applied to my first corporate job and got hired on the spot. (Sometimes being talkative has its perks). 

After 3 years of working, I finally mustered all the courage I needed to enroll and go back to school. Of course, I looked into my finances too! I was on a budget. Living independently and supporting my sister in college was no joke at all. I've accepted the fact that I couldn't afford CDO's high quality and top schools like, Xavier, Liceo and Capitol University. 

Thankfully, I scrolled past AMA Computer College, a branch of AMA University on Facebook. Inquired and boom! Your girl is now in her 2nd year. (A course of my choice). 

Working full-time and studying at the same time is never a walk in the park. I had to cut short my sleep to attend to my classes and finalize my notes for quizzes and exams. Financial wise, you need to be disciplined as well. Your 1 thousand pesos can go a long way than spending it on useless stuff which will never benefit you in the long run. Of course, a couple of drinks with friends is a different story! (Drinking is a must these days!)

Funny how delayed gratification works. No, I think I should say how funny life is. It's really unpredictable and what happens next depends on your decisions in the present time. 

I'm glad I had that setback in 2018. I'm glad I got cheated on, I'm glad I didn't stopped living and hoping for a better version of me. I'm glade I'm still here smiling amidst my heartache. 

My 17- year old me would be proud to see me now. I'm looking forward to 2023! I'm almost there.

To anyone who wants to go back and finish their degree, go for it! Invest in yourself and your education. It's all worth it! 



E..




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