𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓦𝓮𝓮𝓴𝓮𝓷𝓭 𝓟𝓪𝓰𝓮𝓼

I finished my Psychology degree last year, and now I’m standing at that strange crossroads where everyone seems to have an answer for what comes next. “Review for the board exams, take the HR certification, apply for jobs in your field…” The list goes on. And yes, those things are part of my plans — someday. But right now, I’m talking about the present. The quiet, uncertain space between endings and beginnings. I don’t want to spike my cortisol by rushing through every checklist at once. I’m learning that the “in‑between” is not wasted time. It’s where I get to listen to myself, to notice what excites me, what drains me, what feels true. To notice how my shoulders loosen when I stop rushing, how my breath slows when I stop forcing clarity. It’s where I remind myself that clarity doesn’t always arrive on command. Sometimes it comes slowly, like dawn breaking. So for now, I’m choosing to sit with the pause. To trust and savor every silent mornings, and cozy nights. To believe that not ...

Why I'm No Longer a Girl's Girl I used to be one a few years back. I support all women doing whatever the fuck they want. Unfortunately, I wasn't too distinct with me being a "girl's girl" , and the version I was introduced to was too narrow. Mind you, I used to wear that label proudly.  I remember how I was so assertive about it as well — at work and in my relationships. Until I realized I was only into the positive and encouraging aspects of femininity. And in some ways, I still believe in supporting women's freedom — the right to education, the right to vote, our choices, and our voices.  Girl's girl and femininity is a double-edged sword.  Yes, we can be as supportive as we want to be, especially toward our friends. But what we don’t talk about enough is the envy and competitiveness that can exist within a friend group. The subtle comparisons, unspoken rivalries, that often go unnoticed because we're too busy performing solidarity.  Somewhere ...

There are moments when life feels like a series of waiting rooms, each minute teaching us something about patience, timing, and trust. On my second lunch break during a Friday shift, I found myself in one of those moments, watching Begin Again with Keira Knightley and (yes) The Hulk -- in human form. Kidding, of course.  Then came the train scene. A line struck me: God is always on time. He's never late or early, Just in time. I sat with that thought. It rang true to me. God doesn't rush, no does He delay. He places the right people in our lives exactly when we need them.  I used to be restless with time, always measuring the distance between what I wanted and when I would get it. There's a fragile line between waiting for something to possible and clinging to something impossible-- and I often blurred it. But I've grown. I've learned to stretch my patience, to move with intention while waiting. And in that space, I've discovered that waiting itself  has value...

I finished Priscilla , directed by Sofia Coppola (she's one of my favorite filmmakers), and I'm still sitting with the weight of it. The film showed us a glimpse into Priscilla and Elvis's marriage, but what it really reveals is the hollow core behind the most prestigious and controversial marriage.  At first, I wondered if what they had was just limerence, you know, just a fleeting teenage obsession. But in interviews and memoirs, both claimed they were in love. And yet Priscilla herself says in the film, "we were living separate lives." I neither see nor felt romance in the movie, I get it-- maybe it was the way how the story was portrayed  and all. But all I see is a little girl obsessed with an older man, a rockstar to be exact. I saw an emotionally abusive and  controlling man, and a loveless marriage.  Don't get me wrong, sometimes love can really consume us if we let it. Unfortunately, for this girl, she lets it. Leaving everything behind in Germany to ...

Directed by Sofia Coppola I just finished The Virgin Suicides two nights ago, and it left me in a melancholic mood. I am haunted by the hazy atmosphere of the movie, the dreamlike portrayal, and the isolation of the Lisbon girls, as well as the way the boys next door narrate and recall the girls and their tragic ending. The boys’ narration reminds me that memory can be both tender and cruel, most especially to me! They describe the girls in a way that makes them appear hauntingly mysterious, almost mythical, and I found myself perceiving them as angels suspended in time. Lux Lisbon’s eyes, as seen through the boys’ memories, embody this paradox. Their gaze freezes the sisters into symbols of beauty and longing rather than full human beings. The girls were denied the chance to live ordinary lives, and in the boys’ recollections, they are denied the chance to be understood deeply. The Lisbon parents believed they were protecting their daughters by shielding them from the dangers of the ...

I just finished watching Turtles All the Way Down , the movie adaptation of John Green’s novel. The story follows Aza Holmes, a teenager living with OCD, whose intrusive thoughts often spiral into endless loops. At its heart, the film isn’t just about solving a mystery, it’s about Aza’s struggle to navigate friendship, love, and identity while living with a mind that constantly questions reality. As a psychology graduate, I found it fascinating how John Green captured the lived experience of OCD. Clinically, OCD is defined by two main features: (1) Obsessions - unwanted, intrusive thoughts, images, or urges that cause distress. These includes fears of contamination, doubts, or seeking reassurance. Then we have, (2) Compulsions - repetitive behaviors or mental rituals performed to reduce anxiety, such as checking, cleaning, counting, or seeking reassurance.  People with OCD often recognize that their thoughts and behaviors are excessive, yet feel powerless to stop them. Research s...