What would you do differently?

If you could relive your life, what would you do differently? That question popped into my mind out of nowhere. I guess I have a lot of time to ruminate. 

As I pondered, I thought about the people who are privileged enough to start again. I thought about people wanting a clean slate, back to square one. 

And this isn't just about people who can afford a clean slate. This also applies emotionally and mentally. And my unsolicited response to my own question is this: I don't want to change anything. 

Every heartbreak, pain, and suffering I felt were essential to my growth. Every person I have met in this lifetime has taught me valuable lessons. The good and the bad experiences made me the person that I am today.  

Those experiences helped me spiritually, and it also brought me joy, such as my first solo vacation, my first poem, and the first time I did something alone and survived.

In the grand scheme of things, I realized that my problems are miniscule and irrelevant. I sometimes react badly to things and situations that make me anxious and unsecured. And trust me, I'm working on it. 

It was indeed taxing, as life demands your whole being. It will stretch you out like you're elastic

So, the almost 25-year-old me will not change a thing, even if I’ll have to redo this lifetime. The life we have now may be hard in some aspects, but I know we'll get through it. I'll get through it. I'll move on and laugh at my immaturity. 

I just hope I'll still be in one piece after "going through it". Life may be scary for someone who's decisions depends on the wheel of names online (haha) and my plan, which changes from time to time because of detours. 

PS. I just have to quote Robert Frost, "the only way out is through". So hold on and hope for the best in every situation. 

PPS. This also serves as a reminder for me as I tend to forget my own advices sometimes. 

Xoxo,

E. 

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