The Weekend Pages

Gone Girl is famous for its cool girl monologue and feminine rage. I saw the movie first before the I bought the book and it was a mistake.  Before you judge me for not finishing this book, I want to highlight all the positive key points first: The first part of the book shows us the reality of marriage, that it's not always rainbows and butterflies. Since I already saw the movie, it was no stranger to me that Nick fell out of love with Amy and wanted divorce after taking Amy's money to fund his so-called business named, The Bar after his retrenchment in New York.  It also shows us Amy's POV. And like any other girl and woman, Amy wants to save her failing marriage. The author did a splendid job in detailing Amy's exhaustion in trying to keep her marriage in one piece.  " Marriage is compromise and hard work, and then more hard work and communication and compromise. And then work.", -Amy Elliot Dunne. I don't know about you but the idea or should I say the...

Kaamulan Festival is from the Binukid word “amul” which means “to gather”. It is a gathering of Bukidnon tribespeople for a purpose. Every year people from all over the country visit Malaybalay City, Bukidnon just to join the fun and experience other things the province can offer.  My first-ever Kaamulan was this year. Facebook posts had me giddy with anticipation. Food and spring pools are two things I'd like to check out again. I went there for a three-day, two-night staycation/trip with my boyfriend and his buddies. Patrick's friends which turned out to be my friends as well, were very understanding as to why I slept almost every night during our stay.  At the same time, I enjoyed the company of those I traveled with. I laughed a lot and was able to eat good food. And that was more than enough. I am beyond grateful for their genuine friendship. We had planned to visit Nasuli Spring in Bangcud, Malaybalay, Bukidnon on our final day of travel. The establishment was already f...

If you could relive your life, what would you do differently? That question popped into my mind out of nowhere. I guess I have a lot of time to ruminate.  As I pondered, I thought about the people who are privileged enough to start again. I thought about people wanting a clean slate, back to square one.  And this isn't just about people who can afford a clean slate. This also applies emotionally and mentally. And my unsolicited response to my own question is this: I don't want to change anything.  Every heartbreak, pain, and suffering I felt were essential to my growth. Every person I have met in this lifetime has taught me valuable lessons. The good and the bad experiences made me the person that I am today.   Those experiences helped me spiritually, and it also brought me joy, such as my first solo vacation, my first poem, and the first time I did something alone and survived. In the grand scheme of things, I realized that my problems are miniscule and irrelev...

Is it just me or does everyone go through this phase wherein they don’t know what to do with their lives now. I was always the girl with a plan– from A to C. A contingency plan is ready in case "plan A" goes south and haywire. Right now, I’m in the middle of not knowing what to do, wanting to move forward, and scared to go out of my comfort zone.  My comfort zone however drains me and I don't think I can handle it anymore. I feel like a robot doing the same thing everyday and every time I complain because of exhaustion, I get to be the negative one and the bad guy.  Where do I even place myself in this world full of misconceptions and blame, of productivity and hustling hard to the point you lose a lot of hair? It’s hard to express your exhaustion when the world is blinded with toxic positivity-- an escape to the harsh reality. Despite all the shenanigans that this year has brought to me, I’m still grateful. Grateful for all the experiences– the good and the bad.  I wrote...

An open letter to my grandmothers in heaven. How are you My and Nay? Is heaven a good place for kind people? I think the answer is obvious.  It's been awhile since I went home to visit you both. I miss you every single day and it's torture feeling lonely when I'm surrounded by people who also matters to me. Loneliness is complicated. Grieving is complicated.  Things have been too serious lately. And sometimes, I just want to cry in your arms and sleep. I'll always run into you when things don't go my way. I want to hug you both when I can't take life as it is. Especially when it demands all of my being.  I get too overwhelmed with people who pry into my life. I can't take it. I can't take their hypocrisy, their facades & masks. Why can't I live a peaceful life? Why is it that when happiness knocks on my door, chaos is always just two steps behind?  Some people just don't have boundaries and some just don't have a life. And what happens t...