The Courage To Be Disliked: Reflections on Simplicity | Book Review

I can proudly say that 2023 was a year for the creatives. I painted a lot, I read a lot, but because of my hectic schedule, no book review made it here. And now, since I’m procrastinating my prelim study session, I want to talk about my recent read: The Courage To Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga.

A Philosopher Who Says Life Is Simple

The book explores Adlerian Psychology. I enjoyed reading it during my day-offs because there was so much to annotate. I’d already encountered Alfred Adler in past trimesters, but we never really touched the core ideas and subtopics.

It begins with a young man full of questions about life and a philosopher who insists: life is simple. The youth disagrees, calling it hypocritical and preposterous. They then embark on a five-day discussion: the youth eager to prove the philosopher wrong, the philosopher eager to share wisdom.

One exchange stood out:

“That is not because the world is complicated. It’s because you are making the world complicated.”

Is life really that simple? As a teenager, I often asked myself the same thing (too much introspection can really make you spiral, haha). I believe we complicate life because we want control. We plan, we structure, we obsess. And when things don’t go our way, we crumble into frustration and fall into black-and-white thinking.

Why is that? Maybe societal pressure. Maybe our sky-high expectations of ourselves and others. Planning and control, in moderation, are healthy. We need pathways to feel we’re on the right course. But life doesn’t always follow the plan. It surprises you with… life.

And that’s okay. We can’t see the future or control it. Obsessive control only leads to frustration. Instead, we have to flow like water—be still, act in the present, and watch how things unfold. That’s how I think life becomes simple.

Perspective Matters

The philosopher puts it this way:

“It’s as if you see the world through dark glasses, so naturally everything seems dark. But if that is the case, instead of lamenting about the world’s darkness, you could just remove the glasses…”

It reminded me of what my Mommyta told me back in 2018: “How you see life is a matter of your perspective, and the way you view the world shapes your reality.” I must say, I kind of agree with the philosopher, especially after every coffee dates with my psychologist aunt.

Beyond Simplicity

The book doesn’t stop at perspective. It explores love, courage, happiness, contribution, people-pleasing, and the endless search for external validation. Each theme feels like a mirror, asking us to reflect on how we live.

There are so many topics I’d love to unpack, but that would make this blog longer than it should be. I’ll save one for next time: how our past affects us, and why some doors are better left closed.

Stay tuned.

E.

Writer’s Note: This piece was first published in 2023. In 2024, I moved it to my archive, and today I’m bringing it back with a few updates.