The Courage To Be Disliked: A book review #1

I can proudly say that 2023 is indeed a year for the creatives. I've been painting a lot and I've read a lot of books but due to my hectic schedule, no book review was published here. And now, since I'm procrastinating my study session for my prelim examinations, let's talk about my recent read, The Courage To Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga.

The Courage To Be Disliked talks about Adlerian Psychology ( mainly). I enjoyed reading it during my day-offs because there's a lot to annotate about. Although I've already encountered Alfred Adler in my previous trimesters, we haven't really touched the core and its sub-topics.

The book starts with a young man full of questions about life and a philosopher who tells everyone that LIFE IS SIMPLE. The young man disagrees with the philosopher, saying it's hypocritical and preposterous to say that life is simple when it's not. 

They then have a 5-day discussion: the young man, is eager to prove the philosopher wrong and the latter, eager to give wisdom to the young man.

In the first part of the book, the youth talks about how complicated and chaotic the world is. The philosopher responded with, "That is not because the world is complicated. It's because you are making the world complicated." 

Is life that simple? Do we really make things more complicated than it looks? Those were my questions when I was a teenager ( too much introspection can really make you think like this haha). I believe we do make it more complicated because we want to control it-- we want to control the course of our lives. We are obsessed with control and planning and when things don't go our way, we crumble in frustration and switch to black-and-white thinking. 

And why is that? Is it because of societal pressure? Or because of our intergalactic expectations to ourselves and everyone else? Planning and controlling when done in a moderate way is healthy and is okay. We, humans, need structure and pathways to know we are doing well in life and we are on the right course.

However, life doesn't work that way, although the existence of planning made our lives easier, life on the other hand, surprises you with.. life. And it's okay! I mean, we can't see the future and control it. But obsessively trying to control life will lead you to your early demise, my friend. You have to go with it like flowing water. You have to be still and watch how your actions in the present unfold. And that's how I think life is simple.

Anyways, to quote the philosopher, "It's as if you see the world through dark glasses, so naturally everything seems dark. But if that is the case, instead of lamenting about the world's darkness, you could just remove the glasses..." 

It's similar to what my Mommyta said to me in 2018, "How you see life is a matter of your perspective and the way you view the world shapes your reality. " I must say I kind of agree with the philosopher after I had my coffee- talks with my psychologist aunt. 

The book does not only talk about one's perspective in life, it includes love, courage, how one can be happy, your contribution to others, people pleasing, the never-ending seeking for external validation, and so on. 

There are tons of topics that I'd like to talk about but it will just make this blog longer than it should be. I might write another one about how our past affects us and why we should leave that door closed.

Stay tuned. 

Xoxo, 

Elaine