The Sky Still Reminds Me

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I was looking into my archive when I saw an old photo that reminds me why I love the sky.  Back then, I truly believed we’d end up together. Just like in the books I used to read. Funny how fate tricks us into thinking we’ve found the one.

When I was younger, I believed love transcended everything. That it lasted a lifetime. But reality? It slapped me hard. I saw and experienced first hand how fickle the human minds can be. Feelings will change over time and you have no control over it. It just happens. 

You can’t force someone to stay. You can’t make them love you back. That’s not how love works.

What haunts me most now is the time we wasted—on the wrong people, in the wrong places, for the wrong reasons. And yet, I remember it all. Because I’m the kind of person who ties every memory to a song. In this case, whenever I hear the song You by the Carpenters, I would remember years 2014-2015, and the person I'm with at the time. It's just sad to remember bittersweet memories from your past. 

My love or say my obsession for sunsets also has a meaning. February 2015 & early 2016. That's the only thing I can divulge. It never went away though. It became a part of me. Does this happens to you too? Or it's just me? ( I hope not). I guess the concept of unloving someone is not really that true. They still hold some space in your heart regardless of the circumstance.

I had an idealistic view of life and love, especially love. With that, I had a hard time adjusting to the real world. It went against everything I believed in. It broke the rose-colored glass I was wearing the entire time. 

I can’t deny that love was warm, gentle, and kind. It was also patient and understanding of my shortcomings and shenanigans. But it was also chaos, pain, betrayal, melancholic, and exhaustion.

I guess my idea of love was never wrong. It just didn’t match the love I was given.

-Thoughts from the archive, 2016- 

E. 



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