Burnout and other things

I cannot expound more on my recent fall (burnout). I’m now in my final trimester of my 2nd year in the AB Psychology program and I feel exhausted. No– I am exhausted. 

I don’t know where it started. All I know, one day I woke up and I refuse to review my notes or even bothered to check my class schedule ( the school I enrolled myself into provides a week's worth of alternate class schedule in case you missed one due to work). 

Or was it because of the demands of my work? I’ve been trying my best to put some time for rest and school while working a 9- hour shift job. I’ve established a routine that’s efficient and convenient for me since I do the chores in my own place as well. 

However, lately, I’ve noticed a slight change in my attitude towards work and school. It’s like I move like a robot. I feel like I don't have a sense of purpose to do the things I got myself into. That’s when I knew, I’m tired. I guess I need to go out and have fun, which I do most of the time.

Well, okay. I go out every weekend. I go to restaurants and cafes after church with my boyfriend. We would talk for hours and feel the hot liquid from my cup run into my esophagus and into my stomach. 

I find myself relaxing my shoulders and unclenching my jaw whenever I’m in a café. We people watch too. I observe the other customers, who, of course, are minding their own business. I let myself drown into the jazz music of my favorite café and not think about my pending tasks and deadlines. 

I guess I just have to deal with it. The burnout, exhaustion, hunger, lack of sleep and more. I chose this life and I really want to finish what I started. Deal with the demands of life but also not forgetting to enjoy my youth and rest. 

I’ll just have to deal with this one deadline at a time.

E