The hopeless romantic in me

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Unfortunately, I belong to the minority. The hopeless romantic people living in modern society. I don’t know why I label myself as such. I don’t find it insulting though. In fact, I use it to my advantage. Because of me being so hopelessly romantic and believe in true love, I write. I have content people! ( hehe). 


My perception of this label only changed when a former workmate insulted me in front of everyone because I’m into poetry. It took me a long time to process what she said and I began questioning my identity. Is writing short stories and poems a bad thing now? Does the label “ hopeless romantic” make me look stupid and naive? I was 18 at that time and unbeknownst to me, the world is filled with frustrated and insecure people like her. Nevertheless, I didn’t let her stop me. I continued writing and sharing what I love and do best on social media.


I sometimes let myself fall into the abyss of my thoughts and ask myself these questions, “Is true love overrated nowadays? Does it even exist? How about your partner regardless of gender and identity, being faithful? I mean, is this even a thing now?”  In a world of hookups, casual relationships, and situationships, I’m the last of the romantics and it sucks to be one. In short, I believe in monogamy, true love, courtship, and such. Just like in the old times.


Now that I’m single and very much alone this year ( this sometimes bothers me but I get by) I struggle with dating. I have to admit, I don’t have the social battery anymore. I don’t have the energy to go back to square one and ask petty questions. I don’t want the same old shit cycle of dating. I don’t like small talk and meaningless flirting and useless connections. That drains me. I don’t want to impress anybody with who I am. I’m so done with that part. 


My recent ex made me realize that if a guy is really into you, all you have to do is exist and breathe. Yup. Just those things. Flaws and pet peeves can be improved once you’re intimate and you know each other that much. Everyone has their light and dark side and both should be acknowledged. I’m not saying that we should tolerate the bad habits and the cons, I’m saying we shouldn’t tell and force people to change to fit into your standards. I’m saying we should talk it out, compromise, and inspire them to change for the better. 


Is this too much to ask? I think so. 


Anyways, Why am I even minding this thought during my shift? Hehe. I guess I’m bored. 


E. 

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