Girl’s Girl and Femininity Is a Double-Edged Sword

Why I'm No Longer a Girl's Girl

I used to be one a few years back. I support all women doing whatever the fuck they want. Unfortunately, I wasn't too distinct with me being a "girl's girl", and the version I was introduced to was too narrow. Mind you, I used to wear that label proudly.  I remember how I was so assertive about it as well — at work and in my relationships. Until I realized I was only into the positive and encouraging aspects of femininity. And in some ways, I still believe in supporting women's freedom — the right to education, the right to vote, our choices, and our voices. 

Girl's girl and femininity is a double-edged sword. 

Yes, we can be as supportive as we want to be, especially toward our friends. But what we don’t talk about enough is the envy and competitiveness that can exist within a friend group. The subtle comparisons, unspoken rivalries, that often go unnoticed because we're too busy performing solidarity. 

Somewhere along the way, I realized that I don't like mean, sarcastic, copycats, and girls who constantly craves for external validation. I don't align with women who patronize celebrities, and making it an "OUR" problem anymore, as if it's a collective suffering. Don't get me wrong, I do like celebrities, but not to the extent that my whole identity revolves around them. I genuinely believe there should be a clear line between idolizing someone and heroism. 

My previous actions and the people I surround myself made me realize how shallow I have been in some aspects and I want to stop that. 

Truth be told, I got fed up --  with the pretentiousness online, the animosity and the secret competition over who's got the better aesthetic amongst all of us, and the shady dynamics at work and in real life, where trust feels like a currency no one can afford to spend.

Maybe that makes me boring. Maybe it makes me less of a “girl’s girl.” Maybe to some I’m already the aunt in the room, laughing at the sidelines, pushing toward my trentahin era. But if stepping away from the performance means choosing honesty over pretense, boundaries over blind loyalty, and authenticity over labels, then I’ll take it.

E.