My two cents on pregnancy, childbirth, and motherhood

It irks me whenever a 30+ something woman tries to lecture me on FaceBook about having babies as early as now. No, thanks. Not for now please.

Do I want to be a mother in the future? Yes. But not now, because I know I’m going to be a bad mother. Bad mother in a sense that I’m afraid I’m not going to fulfill my motherly duties because I still have a lot of healing work to do. 

How you treat your child since day one affects their entire personality and how they view the world. I’ve learned in Developmental Psychology that there are four types of parenting categories: authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and uninvolved.

Let me summarize the categories for you:

 (1) Authoritarian; the strict parents. (2) Authoritative; nurturing, with rules to obey, and asserts reward-and- punishments. (3) Permissive; you know Lorelai and Rory, right? Yeah. This is Lorelai’s parenting style. They impose limited rules on their children. (4) Uninvolved; best examples are my parents.

So whatever category I may fall under in the future, I just hope I won’t break my children’s hearts. Your words and actions will affect your kid. I hope those people telling me to have one right now are responsible enough to raise their own, and responsible enough to handle the aftermath. (And your health as a mom is as important as your child's)

I’ve noticed this trend with my older friends lately, and I don’t want to conform. I don’t want to chase something that’s not meant to happen yet. And I’ll say it again, I do want kids but not now. I just wish some women would take this into consideration before invalidating my stand and what I feel about pregnancy, childbirth, and motherhood. You can't just project your frustrations at me because you can't have what you desire (man or baby) 

Let's not rush. Let's not give in to the pressure imposed by the patriarchy to reproduce.

“Just because my dreams are different than yours, it doesn't mean they're unimportant.” - Meg March, Little Women

E.