The Weekend Pages

I remember how my grandmother let us play while she did the chores all by herself. She tucked us into bed and sometimes told us stories.  I remember how she woke up early in the morning and cooked for us, and made sure we have what we needed for school.  She picked us up by three in the afternoon and did more chores. It was just me, my sister, her, and the never ending chores waiting for her.  I only saw her cry once. She swallowed the pressure of adulthood, marriage, childbirth, and taking care of her grandchildren in silence. She masked her sadness by showing us she was at peace despite her failed marriage.  She carried the world on her shoulders, that even I would cry if that responsibility was placed on me. Until one day, she can no longer stand up. She can no longer do the chores all by herself. I saw her light slipped away. And in her last moment, I wished that God would be so kind enough to her that He'll end her misery. As my memory of my childhood fades away...

I cry when things don't go my way. I wish I could start over, and avoid having the same fate. I tightened my grasp at the impossible. Forcing it to be my reality. But the more I hold on,  the more I get hurt. In a sea full of strangers, Loneliness became my friend. Words turned incomprehensible.  They passed me by, like the bullets I thought I dodged.  As I watch my life fade away. My heart breaks into pieces. Seeing all of my what could-have-beens slip away from me like dust. E.

It is the first of her five-volume autobiographies, and I am head over heels for it. If it weren't for the then-college instructor, now lawyer, Atty. Simeon, I wouldn't bother picking up this book at BookSale. After I made the purchase, thought to myself if it's going to be worth it, and it did not disappoint. It left me in awe and giddy with the words I've yet to learn as I go through the pages. It's like every word that Maya Angelou uses is gold, and the book itself is a treasure chest.  I'd like to quote Atty. Simeon says, "She writes with graceful eloquence and precision." True enough to capture not just Atty. Chanda's admiration, but mine too. All salute and respect to Maya Angelou. Her storytelling is beyond impressive.  And just like Atty. Simeon, this line also made me stop my breath for a second and paused to internalize what she wrote: "Then there was the pain. A breaking and entering when even the senses are torn apart. The act of r...