To endless comparisons and self-hate

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Why are we so desperate to be like everyone else? To look like everyone else? Why do we compare ourselves to the ones we see online? Why do we despise our imperfections?

Growing up, society was not gentle in reminding me that I have flaws and that I should change to be accepted and loved. I have thick, wavy hair, big cheeks, flat boobs, and tan skin. I’m also not tall enough to be considered a model, a goddess, and so on.

We pressure ourselves to conform to society and its unrealistic standards. And to tell you the truth, it’s draining trying to be everyone else. With the latest trends and beauty products emerging every day, it's hard to keep up.

The first instance in which I was criticized was by my ex-boyfriend. Back in 2015, my best friends were my pedal shorts, jeans, shoes, and t-shirt. You rarely see me in crop tops, off-shoulders, or skirts!

The young me was pressured to be beautiful and be socially accepted. I lost myself in trying to be everyone else. I don’t know what I like and what I don’t. I seek validation from my narcissist ex-boyfriend and his ill-mannered family.

Is this the price I have to pay to be called pretty and cool? Losing myself in societal standards?

To the young me, I hope you find peace in being you. And I want you to be unapologetic about it. It’s okay if you don’t follow what they do. It’s okay if you don’t party, and it’s okay if you don’t dress like them either.

Hush and silence your mind with this letter I wrote for you. I'm 24 now, and I’m apologetic about how I dress myself. I have my own likes and dislikes, and it felt freeing.

We are made uniquely by the Creator. None of us are alike. We differ in every aspect, yet we’re the same in some aspects too. We think differently. We have different goals and dreams. We perceive reality differently. We share the same pain, but the gravity of it is different per person.

Our bodies are made up of the same genetic imprints and minerals but we don't have the same structure. I believe He intentionally created beauty in different faces, shapes, and sizes to teach us that beauty is subjective. And my heart aches for those who harm themselves to be called beautiful by the patriarchy- the same people who established unrealistic standards. The list of ways in which capitalists profit from our fears is endless.

I hope you find peace in knowing that you are worthy, you are beautiful in your own way, and you are enough.

Change for yourself. Change for the better. 

And, happy birthday to us both.

Xoxo,

Elaine


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