The people pleaser in me

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Do you find it hard to say no to everyone? If your answer is yes, then my friend you're a people pleaser like me. The person who's willing to set aside her needs for others. I'm quite the hero, aren't I?

Studies have shown that people pleasing roots from childhood. The child in you craves external validation. Validation from narcissists. People pleasers attract a lot of narcissists. It's how it is. It is the way of life and it's been like that for centuries. Some people pleasers are empaths with no boundaries. And like the wolf that they are, narcissists will grab the chance to control one's universe. 

For 23 years, I realized how draining people-pleasing can be. Neglecting your own needs to prioritize others can be destructive. 

Why is it so hard to say no? What with that word anyway? Are you afraid of disappointing the people in your life that every time they ask for a favor, your immediate answer is always a YES? I believe the people-pleasing should stop when the new year comes. I also believe that setting some boundaries would help. It may sound scary and overwhelming at the start but it is satisfying to say NO to people who don't deserve your kindness. 

Let's start 2023 by asserting our boundaries and making our non-negotiables known to the public. If there's a need for you to cut off certain people who do not give peace, then do so. Life is short to deal with such people anyways. If they don't want to work on their issues, then let them. You're not everybody's emotional punching bag. You're human with emotions too. Protect your peace by putting a safe distance or might as well, cut them off completely.

Cutting people off is hard and I am bad at this. I turn cold and unresponsive when I want to stop the connection (  I know! I also need to change this and I am working on it). 

To end this blog, I just want to let everyone know that it's not wrong if you want to prioritize yourself this time. You've been giving and kind and people abused that. And I hope you'll honor yourself this time. 

See you next year, dear readers!

Merry Christmas!

With love,

E.

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